Egocentric

Today, I would like to talk about egocentricity.
Why? Because I'm Dr. Oz, that's why.

See, this is what I'm talking about. Was that witty cultural reference meant to be ironic or am I simply so abomibally self absorbed that I equate myself to television's finest pediatrician? I for one know that I meant to be ironic, but does anyone else?

As foreign curiosities, we exchange students spend a lot of time talking about our lives back home and our experiences in our host countries. And honestly, this is normal - as funny-accented foreigners with (at least in my case) strange style, the people around us are exited to know more about us! They want to know about our friends, our food (ahem, ahem peanut butter, and general cultural norms back home. Even more intriguing is our seemingly bottomless inventory of embarassing moments in their country! For the most part, being the center of attention is a blast; we the exchange students have the opportunity to indulge in some culturally-appropriate nostalgia, share funny stories, and (perhaps most importantly) people don't mind when our grammar is far from phenomenal. As for our listeners, they get to enjoy hearing about a strange, faraway land with it's silly customs and food (again: peanut butter, PB&Js are a mere fairy tale here!) as well as a few embarassing narratives about a 17 yearold mixing up the words for "witch" and "sucker"... So, yeah! It's win-win, right? Well, not exactly.

While it is a blast recounting funny moments and US oddities, one must remember that it is not always quite as intriguing to listen to them. It's easier said than done, but as an exchange student, it is imperative that you regulate how much you talk about yourself and your experiences. At first, you are the only topic your new friends will want to talk about! They want to know everything; from your favorite color to why you decided to come to *insert country of choice here*, from your childhood stories to your dreams for the future, from funny curiosities in your country to stereotypes about theirs (hint: if you know about mean stereotypes about their country, don't feel obligated to share them! All this could ever produce is hurt feelings).

Obviously, you should indulge in this type of conversation, especially at the beginning of your stay or at the when you're getting to know someone! At these early stages, it is exhilerating for both you and your acquaintences to share (or in their case, learn) about you and your exotic culture. But as you progress in your relationships, the call for "me,  me, me, my country" dialogues (also known as monologues! *ahem*) diminishes. And while the sudden drop in "Tell me more about you!" questions might be a tad disheartening at first, you have to realize that this isn't because your friends don't like you! On the contrary, the stage that comes after "me, me, me" conversations is a million times better. Once your monologues have turned into conversations, that means that you are no longer in the indroductory phase of your friendship. Your conversations are no longer between a foreigner and a native, but rather between two friends; your conversations are real conversations, rather than one-sided dialogue! It's a wonderful phenomenon when you and your friends know each other well enough that the best conversations don't depend on crazy, lengthy stories, but rather on a shared interest and some witty back and forth!

Of course, it's always fun to share stories from your loony life - I mean, it is your life and what makes you, well, you! "More about me" excerpts are cheeky (I don't know, I just felt the need to use the word cheeky...) all the time, both in your home country and abroad. But if you ever have trouble figuring out if a "This one time..." comment comes across as egocentric, just ask yourself whether the comment adds to the conversation in more ways than just allowing yourself to speak!